Roadblocks, Rainbows and Overdue Women

Published as a Saturday Love Letter on April 18th

Hello Love,

As you are reading this, I’ll be driving my mum and my aunt to an airport hotel in Dublin. The email I had scheduled for last week didn't send, and so I thought I'd check in with you to tell you about my week off.

This trip, my aunt's first visit to Ireland, has taken several unexpected turns. 

I got to the airport two hours late owing to the fuel protests on the M1. On our drive to Inishowen, we were taken on some beautiful roads, bypassing the ongoing congestion on the main road. We bantered and laughed our way through the four-hour journey.

My mother and aunt are both on the other side of 75 years old, and in the almost thirty years I have lived here, my aunt has never visited.

When my mum asked if she should travel with her sister this time or next time, I had a little inner smile to myself.

“This time, mum.”

My mum laughed.

“Ja Kind, du hast recht.”

Yes, love. You are right.

I suppose we all get caught out by feeling invincible here and there, no matter how old we are.

Our holiday home was right by Lough Foyle and it housed the five of us comfortably. My daughter, Lena, loves getting to practice her German, and Gerald, my man, is always content to let himself be immersed in a language that has been such a big part of his life ever since we met in 1998. He speaks a broken version of it, enough to endear him to my relatives every time they meet.

Three days into our stay in our remote abode, I took Lena and my mum and aunt to get supplies. Already halfway there, we took an impromptu trip to Malin Head, the northernmost point of all of Ireland.

There is no temptation of feel invincible there, nature has a way of humbling you. We watched the swell of the water against the rocks as the wind blew the clouds across the sky, revealing enough sunshine to paint rainbow after rainbow into the spray. 

None of us had witnessed a spectacle like it before, and there we stood, three generations of women, in awe before something none of us quite understood.

It reminded me of birth.

Since then, my mum and aunt should have been back to their own lives for days by now, but they have been caught up in the Lufthansa strike action. Their flights were bumped from Tuesday to Wednesday to Friday to Sunday, resulting in a spontaneous city stay and family time in our home here in Belfast.

Accepting what you can't control is a big part of the R.O.A.D. to Birth system I authored back in 2022. R.O.A.D. stands for:

Recognise and release your fear.

Overcome obstacles.

Accept what you cannot control.

Do the work.

We all did plenty of this during the last ten days.

Now I would really love for you to cross your fingers for my mum and aunt. Lufthansa have allocated them a flight for the crack of dawn tomorrow morning, and just like all the mothers I have known on the other side of forty weeks pregnant, they are very much done being overdue.

Love,

Nicole